Mandy Miller's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Mandy Miller [ website | Sweet Valley ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[06 Sep 2006|06:43pm] I am moving in with my boyfriend today. I still can't believe it. It doesn't seem real. No one knows. Not even my parents or best friends. If anyone found out we would be dead. And he'd be fired. I am so scared that someone will find out. It's exciting though. Sometimes I feel like a kid around him. I mean he is 30 and i'm only 19, but he makes me feel more grown up. He treats me like a woman, not a child with a crush. And I love him for it. Whoa. I just typed love. Do I really love him? I must, right? Or I wouldn't be moving in with him. I'm scared. What if my parents find out I am not living in the dorm. They will seriously kill me. And my friends. How can I hide this from them? I mean, I can just always meet them places and when they ask to go to my room just tell them my roommates annoying or whatever. I hate lying, but as long as I am a student at SVU I can not let anyone know that me and Ryan are living together. It's weird being a sophomore in college. I got my schedule already. I know I am weird. I registerd with the first group. But I love school, well I love college anyway. And especially seeing Ryan all the time. Even if we can't publically see each other, we give each other secret waves sometimes. Or winks and smiles. He is so sweet. This summer was great. I managed to hang out with everyone all summer and still keep my secret. No one suspects a thing. Although Lila and Jess do know about Ryan now. But no one else. I don't think. I really do hate lying to my friends, but I love him and I don't want to get in trouble. post comment

[13 Aug 2006|04:06am] Oh my god. I am an idiot. Lila knows now. Knows that I have been living in Ryan's house all summer. I still can't believe we have been together like 9 months, and we are happy. But she knows now. I hope she keeps her mouth shut. But this is Lila. She lives for gossip. Not even Jess knows that I have been staying with him, and Jess is like the only one who knows I am even with him. And my parents think I am staying on campus this summer. If they find out I have been at Ryan's, they will kill me. Maybe I am worrying for nothing. Maybe for once she will keep quiet about something. Is that hoping for too much? This is Lila after all. Ugh! What am I going to do now? post comment

Spring Break [08 Apr 2006|04:19pm] Spring Break was finally here and Mandy was thrilled to be able to see Ryan without the entire class always around. They still could not hang out on campus, but at least they could hang out around town, if they were sneaky enough. Most of the students are away for the break, so she wasn't too worried. But, just to be safe, they usually only went out late at night and only to the movie theater, where it was dark, or a fancy restaurant that no students could really afford, so they wouldn't see them there. Despite all this, Mandy was having an amazing break so far. No classes and tons of Ryan time. The more she got to know him the more she liked him, and the more they found out they had in common. Like the fact that he was a middle child, too, and he was goofy as a kid also. He was always the one making jokes in school when he was younger to make everyone laugh. And, his dad had actually died of cancer a few years ago, so he wasn't scared of the fact that she was in remission still. She had gotten cancer when she was 12, and then at the age of 15, it had come back, which is another reason she had really not hung out a lot with kids at school until senior year. But she was fine now, and hadn't had a bad checkup in three years. And he didn't wince if she talked about it, like most people did. He just looked normal and worried. Mandy had just woken up, and she strectched in his bed, yawning. He had slept on the couch, not wanting to rush her, but she had still thought it was cool to have slept at his place for the first time since they started seeing each other. He comes into his bedroom, smiling, and way too awake for a Sunday morning. ( Ryan and Mandy ) They spent that morning in his bed, after they ate, and just talked. It seemed so normal, and Mandy felt so grownup. Then she felt stupid. Normal people have relationships like this everyday, she should just feel normal. But she feels extra excited. She had never had a real relationship before, and she really did like him. She wanted this to work. At noon they finally got up and showered and headed out to a private beach about an hour from the campus and hung out there awhile. He taught her to surf and they had lunch on the beach, at a little cafe right on the boardwalk. It was so romantic, she could hardly believe this was happening to her. After dinner she spent the night there again, and she was slightly nervous. So far she had slept there 3 nights in a row. And, everyday they got up and pretty much did the same scene, although this was the first morning he had made breakfast in bed. He did sleep on the couch each time, so as not to make her uncomfortable. But, was this moving too fast? She sighed. She knows she needs to chill, and have fun. They got along great, so why shouldn't it move fast? And they were technically dating, so she needed to tell herself to relax. But deep down, she was scared. She knew what could happen if they got caught, and she could not stop worrying about it, no matter how much fun they had everynight on their break.

[21 Mar 2006|08:20pm] I missed my period. It is almost a week late, and I am scared! Ryan is the only one I have been with, like ever, but it was only once. How can one time bring this to me? What if I am pregnant? What will I do? I'm scared! Besides this, things with Ryan are amazing! He is so amazing! We go out every weekend, to this place about an hour from here so no one will see us. Sometimes, we hang in his apartment, since he could never come into my dorm room. That is too risky. Imagine if someone saw him here. We would both be in trouble. He might even get fired. Anyway, I am off to meet the girls. Its girls night!

[22 Jan 2006|11:09pm] So I was reading some old entries in my diary and I came across an entry about wanting true love and that butterfly feeling in my stomach. Well, it is halfway through my freshman year of college and I have it. Finally. Ryan Reynolds. My teacher, yes, but he is sweet and cute, and although he is older and it is illegal to date my teacher, I can't help but like him. The other day we were in his office once again, going over the first essay for the term, and it just felt so comfortable. It felt like I was studying with a classmate not a teacher. I wonder what his deal is anyway. Do you think he's married? Hmm. I may need to do a little more investigating here. ( Ryan and Mandy ) I hung out with Dana, Jess and Lila the other day at the campus bar. I miss my friends. I feel like I haven't seen them in forever. ( The girls ) I am sooo glad that Dana is finally here though. It'll be great having her as a roommate. I was kind of lonely last term, even though I spent most of the term either in Ryan's office or in my sorority house. I got a 3.0 GPA, and my parents were thrilled. They said if I keep it up, they will help me buy a used car this summer. I can't wait. I will definitely be getting all A's this term. I want a car. Everyone else has one, so why not me. Well, off to a sorority meeting. Hugs and Kisses, Mandy

[03 Jan 2006|11:15am] Dana is back! Yay! She is moving in to our room this term. Finally, I have a roommate. And my best friend is back. College will be ten times better now. She thinks I am crazy for liking Ryan, though. I think this term, I may actually get somewhere with him. Who knows, maybe this term, he will finally ask me out. I am one term older now. ALmost a sophomore in college. lol. She looks so different. So grown up. We saw Blue at the party at Lila's. I don't know what is up with him, but he looks so grungy. Ugh! What the hell? He was so cute last year. I spent practically all term in Ryan's office. ;) He helped me all term and it paid off. I got my term grades back: English 101: A- Communications: B+ History 101: A Math 120: B Business Management 101: A My mom was thrilled and so was I. It was all thanks to Ryan. He is so goodlooking, and so nice and so smart. And I get to be in his English 102 next term, too. I can't wait.

[14 Dec 2005|07:08pm] Ugh! What a week! Sorority meetings, classes, tutoring. I can't wait till Christmas break! Its only like a week away. And then I get to go home and see my family and hang with all my old friends. You would think being on the same campus we would see each other all the time, but noooo. Since we joined different sororities it's all changed. Speaking of change. Ellen Riteman is back. She looks good. She cut her hair short, and she's actually not as ditzy. Considering this is the same girl who thought that Santa was real till she was what 11, that's a miracle. But she is still as sweet as ever. I wonder what happened to all the other Unicorns. Tamara, Kimberly, Mary Wallace, Evie, and those girls.... Hmmm. Makes me want to get in touch with them. So, soon I will not get to see Ryan till next term. At least next term I am taking the second part of his class, so I will still get to see him in class. :) Off to a sorority meeting. We're planning the last party before Christmas break. I hope Jess and Liz and Ellen and everyone come. I miss partying with them. Later.

[07 Dec 2005|08:59pm] Mandy arrives in the English teachers office for her next tutoring session. She made sure to wear her best fitting jeans and a cute white blouse with a button down sweater over it. The first two buttons of the shirt are unbuttoned to make it just sexy enough. She has her new suade boots on, and she knows they will make her exactly Ryan's height. She walks in his office and sees him look up and smile a big smile, before quickly looking down and turning red. She blushes, and sits in the chair opposite him at his desk. She smiles at him, "Hi, I'm ready for your help." She says shyly, sounding squeaky even to her own ears. ( Awkward Tutoring Session )

[18 Nov 2005|10:39pm] Ryan Reynolds is soooo gorgeous! Yes, he is my teacher, but he is hot! Jessica is going to ask him what he thinks of me. I wonder if she asked him yet. Brian Rainey is back. He had a party this week! It was ok, but I kind of felt left out. Maybe I need to start concentrating on college life and less on Mr. Reynolds. ;) I think I will start tonight. I am going to the campus club, where everyone goes, and dance allnight long. And maybe meet some guys that are not my teacher. Maybe ill ask Jenna. She lives up the hall from me and we met in the bathroom last week. I'm off for now. Laterz.

Mandy and Mr. Ryan Reynolds [03 Nov 2005|09:58am] Mandy and Jess are walking towards the exit in their English class, when Ryan, their hot teacher calls Mandy's name. "Ms. Miller, can you stay a minute please?" He smiles at her, and she doesn't think she is in trouble. ( Tutoring )

First Day Of Class [01 Nov 2005|09:24am] Mandy and Jess had just met up in front of the English building for their first college class. "Can you believe it Jess? Our first college class." She frowns pretending to be mad. "Too bad it had to be at 830am though." She sighs, as they step into the classroom and Mandy's feet feel like they are sticking to the ground and her heart stops. "Jess!" She whispers. "Who is that? Oh my god! I'm in love, like seriously." She blushes, looking down, ( He is so hot! )

[08 Sep 2005|04:48pm] I graduated! I am no longer a HS student! Wow, that feels great to say. I am so excited for this summer. It's gonna be amazing. And, then I start college! Like a real adult! I can not wait! SVU here I come! I think I might room with Dana, but who knows, since she has been acting wierd lately. Everything is already changing. I am worried. If it's changing now, what is gonna happen when we go to college? Ugh! Well, at least I will finally be learning what I need to open my own clothing line someday. I am majoring in business management/communications and minoring in fashion design. This means I will have no life and be very busy with classes. But at least I will be free to do it as I please, with no parents or big sister watching my every move.

[09 Aug 2005|03:52pm] Prom was amazing! Todd was amazing! Everything was amazing. I am so glad I went. I had so much fun. We danced the macarena, as a group. OMG! That was crazy! Todd gave me a little kiss goodnighe whem he dropped me off last night. He is sooo cute. Who knew that the goody goody that used to date Liz was so cute? lol. Graduation is next week. I can not believe it is so soon. Wow. In a week, we will no longer be HS kids. We'll be almost college freshman. My birthday is July 3, and I turn 18! Then I will really feel grown up. Jessica and Elizabeth's birthday is next week. I have no idea what to buy them. I need help. Maybe Dana knows what to buy the twins. Ugh! And, I also need to start planning my birthday. I hope people are still around July 3. A lot of people go away for the summer, what if no one is home to celebrate my birthday with me? Ok, enough moping, I am off to the beach. I need a relaxing day after prom yesterday. It was soooo much fun, but the whole day was crazy. Tata. <3 Mandy

[21 Jun 2005|11:50am] So, I kissed Ken at the party this weekend. But, although it was nice, I felt nothing. Will I ever find the one guy who makes my heart "hurt" so to speak. The one guy who makes me feel all complete. Everyone seems to be happy with someone, except me. Tuesday is senior cut day!!! Woo hoo! An excuse to cut and not get in trouble. And then this weekend is Prom! I am going with Todd. Maybe if i'm lucky I will feel something there while we dance. He is cute and sweet, so you never know. Not that he'd ever like me, though! Ugh! I can't wait till college!

[18 May 2005|10:52pm] We are graduating next month. I can't believe it is here already. And guess what? I know almost everyone in this stupid school, but I have no prom date or anything, because hardly anyone knows me. I guess that's what happens when you spend most of your high school years in the background. Yea, I was still a Unicorn till 8th grade but that ended in 9th grade, and everyone went their separate ways and for some reason everyone got lives except me. What happened? I used to be one of the most popular girls in school, now I don't even know half the new kids, and I don't have a date for prom. And, of course, I am not nominated for prom queen, since no one knows me. Man, I start college soon, I so need to get a life, and get back out there. Maybe i'll call Jess and Liz and see what their doing, and start hanging out with people again. I mean, most of them are going to SVU with me, and it'd be nice to have a life again, in college, at least, since I didn't have one all through high school, and now high school is over. God, what a loser i've become!

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